People overeat, over work, over sleep, over drink and over smoke, the list can go on and on; you got my point. Here’s where I believe couples go wrong, they fail to “Over date” their significant other. The most neglected area that I see in couple relationships is the failure to “Over Date” Overdate; what’s that?
Definition Over Date: The Act of Dating your Partner on a regular and continuous basis in order to keep the Romance, Adventure and Love alive daily, weekly, monthly, yearly and for the rest of your life (Daniel Kinoshita).
When was the last time you went on a date with your partner? The answers I get in couples Therapy will astonish you, everything from 3 months to 30 years!! How about this one? The last time I can remember is when we first met!
I have worked with couples for over 20 years and have heard every relationship challenge you can imagine. He’s not romantic anymore. She always nags. He doesn’t help with the kids. When we first met, he would call me all the time or send me text messages saying he loved me. He would bring me flowers every week, and then they just stopped.
How about? The intimacy has stopped, “I can’t remember the last time we made love.” All of these complaints are symptoms of the disease I call “Dating neglect.” There are many reasons why this occurs; I’m not going to list them here, but if you picked up this book, you most likely are in a place where your relationship is suffering, or you hit a bump in the road, and you feel things are stagnant. We usually don’t purposely neglect the most important relationship in our lives, with our partner, but it happens, and now you may just be settling for leftover emotional scraps you can get from one another or contemplating ending the relationship all together.
Either way, it’s not the way to feel fully alive or thrive in a growing relationship. But wait! Don’t panic! Hold on, don’t throw in the towel! Read along and join me on this journey of what myself and wife of 31 years have discovered, as the foundational key to relationship success “Over-dating”. As you read, I will take you on a journey to re-discover lost love for yourself and love for your partner that you never imagined could be possible.